Foster Care Fortnight: Meet our foster carers

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Have you considered fostering? If so, meet Jo. Jo has fostered with us for over two and a half years and has looked after over 20 children during this time, providing emergency, respite and day care placements for children and young people in Dorset.

Meet Jo

Jo Wheeler, aged 49, lives in North Dorset. She lives with her husband Sam and their four birth children, aged 10, 12 and 15. Their parents and in-laws also share the family home – making it a warm and welcoming, multi-generational home.

What care and placements do you offer?

The foster care Jo provides can range from a few hours of emergency care to longer placements of up to four months. In the past, Jo has provided respite care for a baby who was being cared for by his grandparents and she has looked after young children, teenagers, and sibling groups.

Much of the care Jo offers aims to support other foster carers and avoid placement breakdowns. This might involve supporting foster carers and their children by attending the family home.

“On one occasion a foster carer was experiencing a lot of challenging behaviour from a young child, especially when it came to bedtime. I supported this family by being a ‘new person’ in the situation, helping to de-escalate the problem so that issues could be worked through.

“Being a fresh face can help to support the foster carers and young people. I’m able to be objective and the children respond well to someone from outside of the direct situation who still have their best interest in mind”.

How did you start your fostering journey?

“I was always open to the idea of fostering or adoption and as our children became more independent, I felt it was something we could offer.

“My father was a head teacher, and my family were part of the church community, so a new face at the dinner table was a regular occurrence. I was always open to welcoming others into my life.

“During lockdown, I found myself looking up at our family home whilst in the garden and felt incredibly lucky. It was this moment I felt myself thinking that now our children were slightly older that we had time and space to offer to other young people. I wanted to share what we had with others.”

The final prompt for Jo to enquire was a foster care fortnight social media post that highlighted the desperate need for foster carers in Dorset.

How do you support each other

Jo is part of a foster carer network in North Dorset who regularly meet and support each other. By knowing each other, they can reassure and support the children as they head into new placements.

She is also a member of a newly formed Mockingbird constellation that aims to create an extended family for foster carers and the children and young people they look after.

“Mockingbird is an amazing model. It creates consistency for the children and allows them to build positive, healthy relationships with a whole extended family.”

What element of fostering has been challenging?

“Managing everyone’s needs can be difficult. You must balance the needs of the child you are fostering, with the needs of your own children, and at times this can be challenging.

What has been the most rewarding thing about fostering?

“It’s the little things. One child really struggled with school so when he came home with his report book it was wonderful to see the comment he’d written:

Sam and Jo have got me.

“It was great to know he felt secure and happy living with us.”

How does your family feel about you fostering?

“On the whole, they’re very supportive – especially my eldest who has a keen interest in psychology. It’s been hard for them at times, but they like meeting the different children and building friendships. Having four children of my own means there is less pressure on any single one of them as they all spend time with the children I foster.

What would you say to someone considering becoming a foster carer?

“If they have even an inkling that it’s something they’d like to consider, I’d urge them to find out more and investigate. They might have some questions holding them back and a quick phone call could alleviate and worries they might have.

“If something is holding you back, pick up the phone and have that chat. If it’s right for you, then you’ll know.”

What skills or personality traits would you say are useful for foster carers to have?

“Along with being loving and caring, you need to be empathetic. You need to appreciate that you may come across existing learnt behaviours, and challenging times may come as a result. But most things can be worked through.

“It’s useful to be a good multi-tasker as life will be busy and a good sense of humour goes down well! You need to be flexible, give new things a go and embrace their interests.”

Could you foster with Dorset Council?

Dorset children need more foster carers, and we are looking for foster carers from all walks of life to meet this need. Our aim is to keep Dorset’s children and young people within the county they call home, close to their friends, schools, and birth families.

Join us on Thursday 25 May at the Dorset County Museum, Dorchester, to find out more about fostering with Dorset Council. The fostering team will be on-hand to answer your questions and existing foster carers will be there to share their experiences. The drop-in event will run from 2-6pm and those who attend the event will have the opportunity to gain free access to the museum.

To find out more about fostering with Dorset Council, or to submit an enquiry, head to www.fosterwithdorsetcouncil.com



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